Not being social.
I realized in my 40’s that my parents were wrong. You don’t actually have to be social butterfly to be happy.
I’m missing the need for social interaction. World didn’t end. I’m completely happy without it and there are plenty of jobs that don’t extensively need it.
So liberating. No amount of therapy really helped on the inside. It was all just pretending.
It’s tricky for me though because I’ve always had a social need. I don’t have a need for sex like the majority of other humans do, but I do have a need to be social. Lickily I fulfill most of my social needs by going to work, but it can be stressful at times.
Sativa in small dosages, and getting older. Around 30 stressing about other people started to fade away
Wellbutrin
Making a fool of myself on purpose and laughing along. Karaoke bars, stand-up comedy open mic nights, improv theater.
It helps you see that people can’t really see behind each other’s “mask” all that well. All confidence is made up, so play along and it just sort of materializes.
Another way to do that is to try and become fluent in a new language. You build a different persona for each language you use, so might as well become confident in the new one on purpose.
Self-criticism fueled my anxiety and depression. Compassion and acceptance have significantly improved my well-being.
This is also a big issue for me. When I felt embarrassed because of something I did, I would tall myself, “You’re so stupid!” Which launched me into a shame spiral.
What has helped me break out of the spiral is to notice when I tell myself I am stupid and actively respond, “No I am not”
Therapy and making my peace with the past. Like working through it and then actively deciding to focus on the present from now on. This video actually kicked off my healing process.
Wow thank you so much for sharing this!
Not caring about the anxiety part. I learned after a while not to give anxiety any respect and just do what I want, regardless if I get anxiety from it or not.
I’m not getting any younger. Not going to let anxiety run my life.
Edit: Instead of downvoting me, try looking up Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Moving to a walkable city. Turns out I just hate cars and I hated the fact that I had to drive to have any sort of social gathering.
Weed.
Propranolol
Because it takes the edge off anxiety? I haven’t even been on it all that long and I entirely forgot it did this. Holy crap, what was I even like before! I remember being in constant pain from the migraines. More pain than I even noticed I was in, weirdly enough. Is it helping your migraines? My head still feels like Swiss cheese, or something. But more brain fog and heavy than pain, now.
Restricting news. I look at CBC and BBC and that’s all. I feel like most other news sites try to increase anxiety.
Not caring. When I was younger I used to stress out because I was concerned about peoples opinions, not fitting in, or doing something stupid and giving others the wrong impressions of me. As a result I came off as shy until I got comfortable around someone. (Then you couldn’t shut me up). Now as I’m getting older, I really don’t care much about some random persons opinion and will often talk to anyone I run into. (Even if it’s just a simple “Hello,” or “How’s it going?” It’s like we all have a little social egg shell around us sometimes that needs a tap or two to crack open. As an aside, you will meet some pretty interesting people too.)
And at the end of the day, it’s what YOU think of you that matters, no one else. Just be the best you that you can be, and don’t fret the little things. If someone doesn’t like you for that, it’s their loss and they’re missing out on all your gloriousness.
Calculating the number of hours I had left on Earth, and realizing that every hour I spent fretting about shit that doesn’t matter is an hour I won’t spend having the best possible time on this dirtball with my family and my friends before I kick the bucket.
Once I “let go” and decided nothing really mattered, it felt like my whole body finally deeply relaxed for good.
The are many potential reasons for Social Anxiety, but for most tend to exaggerate enormously what other think of ourselves and the truth is, no one cares much. One single public smile does more for you social skills than talking for three hours. For me the cure was “age” or, better yet, wisdom. Now, if you are inpatient, there are things that you can do to accelerate the cure before that… do get expose, open the window blinds more often and enjoy the sun and wave hi if someone checks you out… Look for activities where you can excuse the talk level like biking.
but for most tend to exaggerate enormously what other think of ourselves and the truth is, no one cares much.
This is true, but for most people with S.A.D. they were frequently exposed to people who DO care. Family for example constantly commenting on your looks and demenor can have a lasting impact on someone. I was lucky enough to become more rebelious and anti-conformist. but some like my SO, are constantly worried about what others think because its so engrained in them that the people around them are making snide comments to them or behind their backs.
For me, and what im trying to get her to understand. Is that “indifference” is paramount. Its a difficult thing to do but becoming indifferent to the opinions of others is way more powerful than attempting to believe something that isnt always true (that noone cares much). Truth is we are constantly surrounded by wierdos who take a single look at another person and make 1000 judgements.
I find it to be a way more powerful tool to just think about how sad they are, how lonely they must feel, how every foul word is likely a projection of their own lack of self worth. Shrug my shoulders and walk away. Sadly children are not given the opportunity to “walk away”. Especially in the case of parents and family.
This is 100% true and well said. One tick I use with myself and tell others is think of something embarrassing or bad about yourself.
Then come up with something embarrassing you remember about someone else you in the last 5 years. 9 times out of 10 they can’t remember anything. It shows the world is too busy reliving every mistake or rejection about themselves to even register anyone else.
Then I turn it around can you remember the last time you told yourself you did a good job. Then ask if they remember a time someone commented them or got called for doing a good job. Normally it’s the complete 180 on answers. If we took the time to call ourselves out for being awesome more and stopped holding on to those mistakes we mad when we were 20’s or hell 10s. We would believe a lot better off.
Then come up with something embarrassing you remember about someone else you in the last 5 years.
I’m honestly not trying to be nitpicky but I think you forgot a word because I’m not able to figure out what this sentence means. I’d like to know, because I like your comment!
Maybe but to clarify what I mean is try to remember something embarrassing happing about other people. Most people can’t give an answer. But they can easily remember something embarrassing happening to themselves.
Thanks!
Benzodiazepines. Which is why I don’t eat them anymore.
quitting benzo relieved social anxiety?
Oh my no. Taking them did… but they were too alluring. I love them soooo much but taking them all the time did not go well for me, so I had to stop.
yes, these aren’t sustainable in daily life. but benzodiazepines are wonders in case of panic disorders or in anxiety in general. saved my life.
Oh absolutely. I was eating them unsustainably hahaha. They’re the best thing ever for panic attacks… and they cure hangovers.
