I would invent God so others would do all the hunting and gathering for me while I partied in the cave basement drawing on the walls.
Engineering and chemistry. You know, sharpening knives/arrows and distilling seawater into salt for food preservation.
Dying.
Dying is not a task, dying is a condition
Not with that attitude
Well, it can be both.
Seppuku is a task
Wouldn’t death be the condition?
“Death” would be the noun, “die” the (intransitive) verb. “Dead” would be the adjective, i.e. the condition.
Although it has to be said that there’s a lot of flexibility and I’m pretty sure you could find valid ways to use each of them in all cases.
Not with that attitude it isn’t.
I’d be the best at powershell. Unfortunately I wouldn’t live very long.
I find the powershell method gives me hemorrhoids, I much prefer the gentler three shells method.
But which one goes where?
Yelling yabadabadoo and sliding down that dinosaur
I know how to make rope, among other things, as an eagle scout, and I have some experience with atatl so, probably dying of fever at 14.
You don’t think they’d hang you with your own rope?
I mean depends on how the crops looked; im sure they’d tie me for bog body purposes and toss me in the dip if the crops were bad enough and I went feverish. The gods gotta eat too after all.
Recreational drug use can be traced to before written history. Bartering also existed then. I’d be a drug dealer.
Fun fact: Barter only seems to occur in human societies when a. markets were previously established b. those markets collapse. Check out David Graber’s ‘Debt: first 5000 yrs’ for more info. Most societies are debt based- as in people just do things for each other but keep basic accounts in there heads. Eg. You paid for dinner out last month, i’ll pay this month(doesn’t really matter how much was spent, the exactness isn’t very important) Or, my grandma makes the coolest knit socks, I’m gonna ask her to make some for me and then shes gonna have me do some yard work when i visit later.
You reckon the stuff back then was potent enough that people would buy it?
No no, it was freely given.
The ancient vers of the cornerboy shouting TWO FOR TEN
P sure psilo hasn’t really changed
Excel, it wouldn’t be useful but I’d still be great at it.
Great! I got a random Excel question. Sometimes when I pull reports at work the format for the price changes. Instead of showing the $ and the correct amount of spaces after the cent sign like .00, it has no $ and many digits after the cent sign like .000000000000000.
Now when I try to change the cell format back to currency, accounting, text, or anything it keeps the same format and amount of digital after the cent sign. The work around I found is to open up a different Excel doc type it in the correct format and then copy and paste over the incorrect formatted cell.
Do you can a better answer or did I explain horribly and your as confused as me when I try to fix Excel?
That’s just excel being excel.
It Excels at formatting.
Yea when I said that I excel at Excel I was somewhat exaggerating, much as I have at every job interview I’ve ever had. It’s become something of a reflex these days. But as someone else has said I think that particular issue is just down to Excel being crap.
The more I learn about Excel, the more I know I don’t know Excel.
I had someone at work ask me if I was an expert at Excel. I’ve written macros in VBA and made formulas that would have been easier as a macro so I could save them as xlsx instead of xlsm. I said yes, with some hesitation. She asked me if I could help her with a problem and I said sure. The problem was a bunch of hidden cells. At least it wasn’t a bunch of data she’d deleted and wanted me to get back for her.
The amazing part was how hard it was to show the cells in the latest version of Excel.
I haven’t encountered this but have you tried select the cell, going to the home ribbon tab I think, then clicking normal. Then adding the number formating you want
I’d probably be something of a builder/ “engineer.”
I’m not actually an engineer, but I have a knack for utilizing what I have around me or simple enough objects to serve other goals. I suppose I’m what people used to call a Macgyver or “mechanically inclined.”
So, what would you “build”?
Definitely some kind of stone bulwark at the cave entrance to keep out the bears and prehistoric cheetahs.
would you ever try to make something resembling a car / cart?
The flintstones car was a the essential tool humanity used to create civilisation so of course
I was taught they never actually lived in caves, by an angry frenchman when I visited caves in France. The car sized bears did hibernate there though (and people did paintings in the caves).
It depends on what was needed at the time, but probably things like tools and housing. Obviously considering the time we’re talking about it would be very “primitive” lol
But if you knew what you knew now you could do a lot. Just knowing that you can bake mud to make clay. Getting running water to where you live could be a game changer. It’s the key to agriculture, sanitation, etc.
Weapons are the same. Knowing something like the bow and arrow is possible will put you way ahead of sharp sticks and rocks.
I have this but for bicycles and ropes exclusively. First one is out, so I’m rope guy I guess
Storytelling & oral sex.
But not simultaneously.
Once upon a slurp slurp slurp
Beat me to it. Mine was “storytelling and sexually gratifying the hunters in exchange for food”
There is a whole world of romance novels in this setting.
Robert Sawyer has a series of science fiction books where there’s a parallel universe in which neanderthals ended up ruling the earth instead of modern day humans.
It’s been a while since I read them but the fact that you comment itched that part of my brain tells me there might have been a steamy parallel universe crossover scene or two 🤔
I need to start reading again
Well that’s going on the list
Glit walked slowly across the plain, eyeing the group of hunters that surrounded the creature. It was large, much too large for the tribe to eat before the meat spoiled.
As he approached he could hear the argument already.
“No, rapal, you take that part! It was your spear that slowed her enough for us to catch her!”
“But it was your arrow that finally brought her down, Jatam, you should have that part for your family! You have 5 younglings!”
They would carry on like this for hours if left to their own devices, none wanting to be seen as greedy.
Glit approached and broke into the conversation,
“Hunters, good hunting,” he said loudly, “Karana has smiled upon you today! The beast has laid down it’s life for the survival of our people!”
The hunters beamed, proud not only of their work, but now in the secure knowledge of it’s righteousness. The hunt has been approved, sanctified by the Storyteller, the one who speaks for the gods. They know they will be rewarded.
The hunters began disemboweling the enormous creature and cutting the choicest sections of meat off of her as Glit began to tell the story of Olana, the great Mother Elephant. He has told this story many times, but the hunters never tire of hearing it. When the work is done, and the story is told, Glit will reward the hunters and walk back to the tribe with them.
Poison Sommelier.
With or without my current knowledge?
Because I’m pretty sure I could smelt Iron with what I know, and a year or two of experimentation. So the answer would be “ending the stone age”.
Without? I dunno, maybe building traps and snares.
Been watching primitive technology huh?
I mean, I have, but I saw this long before he started trying to smelt Iron: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuCnZClWwpQ
That was fascinating thank you! I watched the whole thing. There’s a ton of work those people put into making their iron. Truly a community effort
I don’t even know what smelting
meantmeans. Can we be cave-friends? I’m good at sharpening knives.
Dying
The only correct answer.
Dying
I came here to write Dying, but 7 other people had already done that.
