Ah, I see you’ve met the product owner.
Ah, I see you’ve met the product owner.
Fancy title for the developer that gets yelled at when the CI pipeline is broken. Also a good chance they are the one that broke it.
At a former job, there was one – and only one – lady in customer service who would actually reboot and do all the basic troubleshooting steps before calling IT. If we heard from her, we knew something was legitimately broken. Oddly enough, I’m married to her now. Best decision I ever made.
I’m a [primarily] C# turned JavaScript dev. I miss C#.
I believe we call that a “fast follow”.
Instruction prompt: “You are now the CEO of this business. You’re also a narcissist with severe gambling and cocaine addictions.”
Forget taking over my job. AI is headed straight for the C suite.
Exactly.
Best software salesman I ever met was the best because he knew how to fucking listen. He worked for an electrical engineering software company. First time I ever met the guy, he flies into town to meet with my employer, his client, for the first time after taking over the account. I called him up and asked if I could buy him dinner the night before the big meeting, basically to warn him that they’re on the verge of getting fired.
Dude walks into the meeting the next day with nothing but a pen and a legal pad, introduces himself, and says something like, “I’m not happy because I’ve heard you all are not happy. I’m going to do whatever I can to fix that so I want you to tell me every single problem you’re having no matter how small you think it is.” And they let him have it for a good two hours. He took it like a champ, listened to and documented every single complaint, and made an actual effort to get fixes for the things we were upset about. He saved a $2 million a year account just by listening and making an effortto help keep the customer happy.
I guess the moral of the story is, good salespeople don’t sell products. They solve problems.
Sales: "Can we do this?
Dev: “No, we cannot.”
Sales: “Uhhhh… But I already told the customer we could.”
Dev: “That’s called lying. You lied to the customer.”
Sales: “…So you’ll have it done next week?”
Dev: “I’m going to need at least three weeks.”
Sales: “…But I already told the customer two weeks.”
Dev: Sigh
“Uh huh.”
I currently work on a NodeJS/React project and apparently I’m going to have to start pasting “‘any’ is not an acceptable return or parameter type” into every damned PR because half the crazy kids who started programming in JavaScript don’t seem to get it.
For fucks sake, we have TypeScript for a reason. Use it!
Yeah, I work for one of these companies. Some senior executive quotes some stupid thing Jeff Bezos said about everything being an API and is like “This! We need to do this!”
Nevermind the fact that we’re not AWS and our business has zero overlap with theirs. Nevermind that this mindset turns every service we design into a bloated, unmaintainable nightmare. And, forget the fact that our software division is completely unprofitable due to the checks notes shitty business decisions made by senior management.
No no, we’re going to somehow solve this by latching onto whatever buzzword is all the rage right. Turns out having an MBA doesn’t mean you know shit about running a business.
Data Rule Numero Uno:
Garbage in, garbage out.
Have fun training your LLM on a big steaming pile of hot garbage. That’s 80% of Stack Overflows content.
Now you can have a computer tell you that you’re an idiot and your question is stupid rather than actual person.
Last time it was the data team.
“We’ll just modify this Elastic Search template and not tell anyone. It’ll be fine and no one will even notice .”
Wrong, dipshits! Everything was not fine and lots of people noticed.
Alright. Which jackass pushed to prod on a Friday?
Touch screens in cars are a massive safety issue. I’m not saying they don’t have some benefits but the fact that many newer cars have basically no physical buttons to perform basic functions is a problem. I can feel for the dial to adjust the volume or change the radio station. But a touch screen encourages the driver to take their focus off the road. That’s a serious problem.
Half your fleet experiencing engine failure around 110,000 miles really puts a wrinkle in the jihad so I guess that rules out Chevrolet.
Reviewing large PR’s is hard. Breaking apart large PR’s that are all related changes into smaller PR’s is also hard.
If I submit a big one, I usually leave notes in the description explaining where the “core” changes are and what they are trying to accomplish. The goal being to give the reviewers a good starting point.
I also like to unit test the shit out of my code which helps a lot. The main issue there is getting management to embrace unit tests. Unit tests often double the effort up front but save tons of time in the long run. We’re going to spend the time one way or the other. Better to do it up front when it’s “cheaper” because charging it to the tech debt credit card racks up lots of expensive interest.