I’ve always been afraid of being killed by a drunk driver, or dying while at work. Now both of those things can happen at the same time.

It’s the worst day to be on the internet.

I had cast my favorite harry potter spell, licktorus clitorus, and while I was plucking the notes on that wonderful little harp, her cat crept in. Head back, eyes closed, mouth agape, toes gripping the fabric of the couch, and that’s when the cat decided to get her face into her face as far as she could, given the time alloted for an expression of gratitude and ecstacy. She was immediately alarmed by a whisker brushing the sides of her mouth as the kitten’s twitchy little nose dove past her teeth. It ruined the experience, but it’s funny to mention now.

I don’t doubt it, so I’m drinking my fill while I can.

A slideshow would be great when my hands are full of toys

All I use reddit for is porn now, so the ads are really easy to spot. Like if I see someone trying to show me tupperware when I was just looking at goth girls and femboys, I know to keep scrolling.