Honestly I find all of the covid years kind of hard to remember, and I know a lot of people who feel the same. I bet that Trump 1 mostly gets wrapped up and suppressed with all the rest of the general trauma.

Crushes are like the common cold, I think. Sometimes they appear out of nowhere, and we have to endure them until they pass, but we don’t have to indulge them.

Something that can help is to pick something that’s an annoyance about that person, or a reason that you wouldn’t actually want to be with them, and redirect your thoughts toward that when you find yourself thinking of them. It can be something really important (“No; I could never be with a married man!”) or even something very dumb or superficial (“Ugh, hairy ears!”). It doesn’t really matter, as long as it’s something that helps to train your mind/heart away from “I want” and towards “I don’t want.”

If you know you can’t be with someone, or wouldn’t really want to outside of whatever fantasy you’re indulging, then finding ways to stop indulging in that romantic daydream is the best thing for both you and them.

Edit: something else to ask yourself is whether this is actually about this man, or about something he’s come to represent to you. You’re a long way from home in a foreign culture. Are you really looking for his love, or are you craving something he represents (stability, home life, end of loneliness, etc.)? It’s worth reflecting on.

I like the in-universe swears from some of Brandon Sanderson’s fantasy novels: Rust (rusting, rusted) and storms (storming) come to mind.

A québecoise roommate of mine got her whole office yelling “chicken FRITE” (fried chicken in franglais).

“What the shoes” is kind a fun one. I’ll also yell “fudge knuckles!” which doesn’t really mean anything but is pretty satisfying to say.

My uncle dropped out of law school right before the bar exam because he wanted to work with his hands. He was a happy car mechanic until he retired. Not having a degree doesn’t say anything about your intelligence or the value of your work.

The Arthurian legends come to mind.

I’m a big rereader in general, but occasionally a book will grab me so hard that I finish it & begin again right away. I’ve had two of those in the past year:

• Moonbound by Robin Sloan
• Cahokia Jazz by Francis Spufford

I don’t think it means that silence will necessarily benefit you materially – rather that silence is something precious or valuable. Maybe consider the proverb’s relation to these similar ones:

Still waters run deep.

Better to close one’s mouth and be thought a fool, than open one’s mouth and prove it.

The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

The prudent keep their knowledge to themselves, but a fool’s heart blurts out folly.

A wise old owl sat in an oak:
The more he heard, the less he spoke.
The less he spoke, the more he heard;
Why aren’t we all like that wise old bird?

To me, “breakfast” food is just whatever you eat that breaks your fast after sleeping. I eat a lot of dinner leftovers for breakfast, otherwise something filling like oatmeal with nuts and fruit in it. (Provided I don’t just drink my tea and then forget to eat, which is also something that happens.)

Some books I buy to read now. Some books I buy to read at an undefined “later.” Browsing my shelves is exciting when I know there are books there that I’ve yet to really encounter.

That’s an incredible post. Thank you for sharing it!

1. Canada (I live here)
2. USA (many many family/friend visits since I was a child; also lived there for ~6 years as an adult)
3. England (one week in London, one week in the South Downs)
4. Denmark (three weeks for a family visit)
5. France (a weekend in Paris)
6. Belgium (about 2-3 days in Bruges)
7. The Netherlands (about 2-3 days in Delft)
8. Germany (roughly 6 hours, driving from Belgium to Denmark)

Oh! I had one just like that when I was a kid!

Pulled pork:

• 1 red onion, thinly sliced, on the bottom layer
• A piece of pork (shoulder is probably best but I’ve also done tenderloin), trimmed
• 1/2 cup BBQ sauce poured over the meat

Cook about 3-4h on high or 6-8ish on low. Remove pork, shred with a fork, return to slow cooker & stir everything up together before serving.

Who exactly is examining your purchase orders for childfree ideological purity? You’re a grownup. If you want the comfy pillow, you can buy the comfy pillow.

That sounds super frustrating!

Our stove has those and I’ve never noticed this; everything takes about the same time to cook as on our last stove, which had the older-style elements. I wonder if it might be a problem with your particular model or brand?

Someone recast Elf as a thriller: https://youtube.com/watch?v=EkwdYSn3Uws

Not quite what you’re asking, but similar energy I think!

I had a second-hand bread machine that served me very well for several years, until one day when it started vibrating like crazy and threw itself off the counter mid-knead. The whole lid smashed into about seven pieces and the dough went all over the floor. We still refer to it as “the time the bread maker committed suicide.”

Anyway, that’s how I ended up making all our bread by hand for the next four years or so.

Give me a Star Trek-style replicator and I’m never cooking dinner again.

Brilliant. Setting up some filters has made browsing All so much better!