Its meant as a broad question as i would like some diverse input.
I have an “unfit” and rigid ruleset of how i define friends and how someone can be one.
It roots in my insecurities and want a starting point to redefine it in a healtier way.
Its meant as a broad question as i would like some diverse input.
I have an “unfit” and rigid ruleset of how i define friends and how someone can be one.
It roots in my insecurities and want a starting point to redefine it in a healtier way.
I’ve always been of the opinion that we need to hang out (digitally if IRL is not possible due to distance) and talk without being “forced” by some other reason. For example, did I have classmates in high school that I got along with? Sure. Did we ever hang out outside of school? Nope. Texting outside of school? Nope. And what happened once we graduated? No contact.
If the only reason we interacted was because we were stuck in the same room for 6-7 hours 5 days a week, and not because we actively seeked each other out, then we weren’t friends.
Also quality over quantity!
yeah I just did a quality over quantity check recently … can guarantee there’s no quantity, and realized that quality also don’t exist, zero reciprocating conversations, zero starting dialogue unless I initiate it by bringing up their interests. their interests are the only topics of conversation and it’s literally dead silence when I attempt to discuss my life enjoyments or humerus topics. used to really stress me out and upset me thinking of it. glad I discovered Stoic philosophy as it helped me reanalyse and put things into perspective and also pushed some bad thoughts into the 'dont stress about what you cant control’s category. just making the hard decision right now on if I just sever the ties that only I keep pushing for.
just glad my mom’s still around and I have 2 pets that require my assistance, otherwise… well, yeah… totally alone.