I am an old man. I have often felt like this a lot in my life. I also have had problems with PTSD and depression from my history. Within the past few years my kids have been diagnosed with various neuro divergencies and this has taught me much about myself and this way if thinking.

I have learned fairly recently that a lot of my feelings like this are related to the differences in my brain and a so called “normal” brain and learning about why I had this thought process really has helped me understand why this happens to me. It all was because I cared about my kids and saw the same things happening to them. I just wanted them to avoid all the mental anguish I experienced in life.

It has been so enlightening and mostly came from sitting with them during their diagnosis and treatments and learning about how these things are genetic (possibly why it’s so difficult to talk to your family about it as well) and passed from parents to kids.

Go to a doctor. You are Canadian I assume by your user name. Tell them how you feel. Ask for a referral to a mental health professional. Depending on where you live there may also be a mental health help line to do all that stuff so you don’t actually have to go anywhere.

Please take care of yourself. Should you find that I am someone you could perhaps talk to about your problems feel free to reach out. If not I encourage you to find someone. Keeping all that inside leads to more problems than fewer and can easily destroy your life and those you love when unchecked and unchallenged. You can do this! One step at a time and one day at time.

I come here.

You may notice I’m here a lot.

It’s going to sound dismissive, but I don’t go to others. I’ve found in my times of feeling the most alone, the only thing that allowed me to feel different was introspection.

I do absolutely understand the primal desire to be around others for support, but self-sufficiency and finding satisfaction without the help of others was my only way forward.

It wasn’t so much that I needed to change or that I was doing something wrong, but I forced myself to focus on those feelings and try to understand where they were coming from and learned that other things in my life gave me that satisfaction. For me, I make art when I’m feeling the most alone because it allows me to express that feeling.

Another thing that may come across as harsh is that you’re the only one in charge of your own happiness. If you feel like none of your friends are supporting you, it’s up to you to go out and find new people to fill their space.

Friends that are only there for you when you’re feeling good are not friends.

Do you have a hobby that you might be interested in that involves meeting up with others? I know for a fact that more than a few good friendships started this way.

In the US, 988 has a warm line. They get a bad rap but if you call, wait and ask for the warm line during the day, they will call back within 48 to 72 hours to talk about anything for a half hour. For when you are not in a crisis, but still need to talk. If you ever are, look up crisis numbers in your area.

That’s the neat part, no one.
But hey, you’re not alone being alone. (Sorry, I kinda like that sentence)

I either talk to my partner, therapist, or ask online :)

that’s also something I won’t get over

This is a tell tale sign of depression; the feeling that there is no “better” ahead. I could tell you there is but it might be hard to believe.

In my situation, I have a person by my side always who I trust completely. So I have somebody to help keep my head and memory clear… and I still get depressed sometimes. Hang in there.

No where. There’s only so many times I can be ignored and be okay with it, or have my hand slapped when I reach out.

Find a therapist. Online therapy can be affordable and accessible.

Sorry for this depressing as post but I don’t have anyone to really talk to

Don’t feel sorry.

Have you considered writing in a journal? I started as a little boy myself (now well into my 50s) and it helped me tremendously all my life and still does to this day.

As a child, I could certainly not speak with my dad or my mom despite or because of the things that happened to me. Even ignoring my family, a lot of my thoughts I simply could not share them with my best friend as he would not have understood most of it. Writing in my journal, discussing with myself in my journal, was my way of dealing with that absolute loneliness (after I quickly learned to make said journal unreadable to my inquisitorial mother that would quickly find it and read it no matter how hard I tried to hide it)

I think many of us have been here before. The first thing to realize is that… you aren’t the first and won’t be the last. I’m sorry you’ve had trouble in life. I’m having trouble now too, but different… and feel there’s nobody I can really talk to about it. I have friends who are also having trouble and while we talk, the reality is that all my good wishes and time to time help doesn’t solve their problems either. In the end it’s up to them.

“Life is a struggle” isn’t just an axiom.

The first thing any lonely person can do is really learn to love spending time with themselves. It involves a lot of soul searching, exploring, learning what things in life interest them enough to explore on their own. When you accomplish that, take what you’re interested in and go find other people who are interested in it. Two people in the world who might be meant for each other, but just stay at home because they don’t want to get out there… will never ever meet.

Life is work. Friends are work. Relationships are work. If you just want to be happy alone and by yourself, guess what? Work.

This is a crossroads in your life, where you get to decide which way to go. It may seem overwhelming, but in the end it starts with one simple thing. What thing in the world makes you happy? If that’s nothing, then start with, what thing in the world makes you less sad?

Every house has a foundation. Time to build yours.

Nicole

I’ve messaged friends posted on lemmy and sometimes some people on discord.

If you need to verbally say stuff then there are probably discord servers, vrchat, and sometimes I’ve even spoken in csgo surf lobbies. One of my best and most experiences have been in csgo lobbies. Sometimes you’ll hear some dude try to rap and stuff and it’s kinda funny.

If you need to unload deep emotional shit, that’s for a therapist. They have clear boundaries and can be detached from the situation. As a parent of a 26 year old man who can’t function without calling his mom multiple times a day to complain about fucking everything—don’t use people close to you for that. Or if you have to, don’t do it often.

They don’t really know how to help you in most cases, but it puts your burdens them. The phrase our son’s therapist uses is to be your own tape and glue.

That said, you also probably need just mundane social interaction, too. Friends. Best bet for that is get involved with something people do together. Karaoke night, classes, biking, activism, church if religion is your thing.

If none of that works for you, try functional alcoholism. I’m not saying it’s a good idea but people have relied on that for thousands of years, and when/if it causes enduring to crash down, you’ll have court mandated sobriety groups. I hope this is clearly tongue-in-cheek, but the serious answer here is when you look around and wonder how everyone else is holding their shit together and you’re struggling, the answer is they aren’t, they are just hiding it for the most part, and until quite recently, heavy drinking was a socially acceptable form of self-medication.

TLDR: Find a hobby to distract yourself. Give yourself something to focus on that isn’t whatever is bubbling beneath the surface that you have no outlet for. Get some therapy so that you do have an outlet for that stuff because it’s not kind to lay heavy stuff at others’ feet.